Dear Large Bike Store,

I would really just like to say that I truly appreciate your work ethic and diligence at making you repair customers so happy. I especially like how you tell them old Schwinn's are junk, low end Trek's are junk, and how anything pretty much not new and plus $600 is a throw away bicycle. They really appreciate it as well, so much so in fact that my garage is full of your satisfied customers. Please don't change anything, don't be respectful, don't learn how to repair something older than five years old, and please continue to believe that your brand is somehow better than another brand that is made in one of two plants overseas. Keep up the good work and have a nice day.

Regards,
Mechanic Matt

p.s. Waldo Bikes, River Market Cyclery, and Bike Stop please ignore...